moving on (up???)

Once again, I have found a place! This time my kids came with me to look at it and they liked it too. The only thing they have a problem with is that its a 3 bedroom instead of 4, so the boys will have to share a room. The location is nice also! The school my daughter will go to is right across the street from where we will be. The mall is about 3 blocks away also. I am feeling more hopeful now about this move and think it will be a good one for us. Still a little sad that things didn't work out for us to move to San Antonio and I miss my friends that there terribly. But I can always go visit them. Not quite sure what I want to do about a job yet. I was thinking of getting a non-stressful job, maybe something at the mall. That way I can concentrate mostly on school. I NEED to finish this degree and get my counseling license. I know what career I want to get into, but I have to have this license to be able to do it. Luckily my credits from ENMU were able to be transferred so I don't have to take that horrible research class again. I am anxious about starting over again, it will be good to leave this place (and some of the people) behind. I wont have to worry about anyone but myself and my kids. No extra hands will be in my pocket :) That sounds like freedom to me LOL. I'm hoping to move the weekend of Dec 16th. My kids dont get out of school until the 20th though. The way things are with my life right now, I need a happy ending and a new beginning.

bleak

Since I am now not moving to SA, and have decided on another place a little bit closer, I dont feel as hopeful. I wanted to be as far away from this place as possible. I wanted to be far enough to where I could act like this place never existed or the people in it were never a part of my life. Might sound kinda mean to some of you, but I was hoping to move and NEVER look back. Ugh, so I am trying to get excited again about moving, which I am, just not all that excited anymore about where I am moving. Maybe I'm not as excited because now I have to do all the paperwork that was done before, all over again. I have to look for a job and home again. Found a school and already transferred to it and should be starting in a couple of weeks. I dont think i've ever had this much time on my hands. This is way too much time to sit and think about everything that I dont want to think about. I dont like to feel restless and bleak about my future. But I'm the only one that can change how I react to things, so I am going to have to change that...somehow.

my "plans"

This week I learned a great lesson that I hated to learn, lol. No matter how much I plan something out, down to the very last detail, God is the one that is really in charge of what happens. Here I was planning my move to San Antonio, found a home and a college that had my area of study and would accept my credits, and at the last minute my plans crumbled big time. The home that I had found wont be available for a few months now, so I can either find something else there, or take that as the final sign that San Antonio isnt for me. Its become such a hassle driving back and forth and spending all this money in order to find a place to live, its simply not worth it to me anymore.
I am still moving, just closer than originally planned. At least this way I can still be fairly close to my friends and family that I have here, and far enough away that I wont have to feel burdened by some of the things that are going on here as well. I can still plan all I want, but at least now I know who is in charge of the real planning. So it looks like I will be around for another couple of months and I'm not exactly happy about it, but I can deal with it.

running

I know part of the reason I am in such a hurry to move is because I'm running from my problems. At this point, I don't care either. I am sure the problems I have right now will not be following me to this new place. Not all of them will anyway. My place will be ready this Thursday, but I had made plans to move the following week. Just to allow myself enough time so that I wont feel so rushed. But right now I am thinking of moving this coming weekend if I have everything ready to go and packed.

What I've learned here

Even though I say that I hate living here, I have learned some great things while here. And honestly, this was the perfect place to be my "stepping stone". It was easy to get on my feet here, once I figured out I wanted to go to school, things just seemed to fall into place. But now I am at a stand still, so it's time to move on.

almost time

I been to SA twice this past week! I did find a townhouse. Not in the best of neighborhoods, but I can will work my way up. It's right across the street from the elementary school, and less than a mile from the middle and high school. I haven't found a job yet. Hopefully it will be much easier once I am actually there. My target move date is mid-October. Happy that I might have found a church already too! I NEED to stay in His word! Can't move away, just to start messing up again. I've come too far to turn back to that life. I am a little sad about leaving this place. I've gotten used to it. And of course, I meet someone sweet incredible when I'm getting ready to move  :(

This blog probably wont be all that exciting, but its a way that you can stay up to date on whats going on with me  :)